There goes the bride. Again…

So.  I finally got it in the mail.

The invitation to my sister’s wedding.

Her second wedding. To the guy she’s been living with for 5 years and has two kids with. At 44.

Now I know I’m an asshole and everything, but I have to wonder what the big fucking hairy deal is. Why are they even bothering with a wedding?

Well, I’ll tell you…

See… Personally, I don’t really think most straight people take their marriages very seriously. To straight people, weddings are something they take for granted… something they plan for their whole lives… something they’re getting ready for before they even meet the person they’re going to do it with.  It’s just an excuse to get lots of presents, have a “special” day.. or… more accurately… Days..

Oh.. to a lot of straight people, weddings aren’t much more than a big party. They’ve never had to work or fight for the right to get married… it’s always just assumed they’d do it.

And let’s face it… to them it’s not even a long-term thing. Go ask the people in line of relative strangers in Vegas and Reno, waiting to get married by an Elvis impersonator. Straight people look at marriages as a convenient thing to do. As a way to get swag.

Straight people say that marriage is this fantastic institution based on raising children and protecting the family as the cornerstone of society and Blah Blah Blah.

But straight people have a way of exempting themselves from the rules they set up for other people.

Which brings me to the topic of GAY marriage.

I remember when the nasty old bag Elsie Wayne, Canadian politician, made this big stink about how straight people don’t parade through the streets making a spectacle of themselves and “call that a marriage.”  Um… really? Cuz I’ve been caught behind an awful lot of annoying straight people driving slow, honking horns, throwing confetti, waving out the sun roof and showing big “JUST MARRIED” signs on cars decorated with paper flowers and streamers.  Sounds like a parade to me.

No… seems that a slim majority of straight people still want to keep marriage for themselves. Not because they buy any of their own bullshit… if they really meant a word of it, couples who married and didn’t have offspring within 18 months would be divorced by the state and charged with fraud. If they really meant it, fertility tests would be done before marriage licenses were issued and divorce would be illegal.

But it’s only gay people who have the whole “marriage is sacred and for procreation” shit ground in our faces. I mean, my sister’s been popping out young’uns  for years with no binding legal contract picked up at city hall and her first marriage didn’t produce any kids at all.

But see… we all know the real reason that the majority of straight people don’t want us to get married. It’s because they know we’d do it better than them.

Before you get all indignant and get your lace panties in a bunch, let’s just face facts. Gay people do things better. We always have.

Gay people have been historically the cultural and moral leaders of humanity. We’re the single aunts and uncles who can be available to care for elderly parents, can be relied upon for emotional and financial support. We’re the single teachers who can stay late after school to help the students who need extra help. If the gay community has shown anything in the last 30 years, it’s that even in the face of AIDS, with out best friends withering and dying all around us, we stayed altruistic and even fun-loving while working to save ourselves and our friends.  And we did it by dancing down the street in the face of blind, seething hatred.

Gay people have been much more politically active per capita. Although more people claim to have been abducted by aliens than claim to be gay, we’ve clawed our way to the few toe-hold rights we have.

There certainly isn’t any argument that we’re the creators of art and culture. As Harvey Fierstein once pointed out, without gay people, fashion would fall into two categories: Fig Leaves and Grape Leaves. If you ever wonder why music, fashion, art, architecture and style all sucked so bad in the mid 80s to early 90s… well it’s because the world lost a whole generation of gay men to AIDS. And most of you said we deserved it.

Hey, we even make the best wedding planners. How ironic is that?

Which brings me back to gay marriage yet again.

Now yes… I know…. nearly half of straight people voted for gay marriage in California’s last election and I have no reason to think that next time it will be over half. I know that a lot of straight people are VERY supportive and strongly so. They have nothing to motivate them other than doing the right thing and I thank them for it.

But I still think we’d do not only weddings but our relationships better than straight people.  Just call it a hunch.

Mr.Reeve writes………….Gay Marriage. An issue that is not an issue to me. I believe anyone who loves someone else should be able to get married as many times as they want. Notice I said “as many times”? Straight people who have a problem with two adults wanting to show their dedication to each other need to get over themselves. Look at all these idiot celebs and idiots in general who have 1 day, 5 day, 1 month, etc. marriages. That is the definition of ruining the true meaning of marriage. Taking marriage and the person you marry for granted seems all too common.

With that being said, we can not have a post about Gay Marriage without addressing Prop 8. We know that the Mormon influence along with the heavy black vote that showed up election day in support of President Obama in California is why Prop 8 passed. If not for these two scenarios it would have failed. I know how the gay community feels about Mormons, but how do you feel about the black voters who voted for Prop 8?

Please share your opinions in the comment thread.